I got married at the age of 20. Our daughter was born when I was 22 years of age. I had a very narrow mindset about what a parent looks like. I was going to be the perfect parent. I read many books including Dr. Spock, God the Rod in Your Child’s Bod, How to Raise an Excellent Child (this was a Christian book, with an authoritarian mindset) about how to parent. What I read was all about discipline and having schedules. In those days, a new mother was hospitalized for five days after a regular delivery, and our pediatrician was on vacation. Every day a different pediatrician would come in and give me advice. Each day was different advice on how to care for this little baby.

As we delve into the human maturity stages, it is helpful to read or hear examples of how other people identified and addressed their maturity deficits. This month we feature an interview conducted by Catherine Curtis (CC) with HCI Executive Director, Betsy Stalcup (EMS).

“I keep praying about it, but I still feel angry.”

“That person is so generous, more than the people in my church, and she is not even a Christian.”

“My relationships keep repeating the same unhealthy patterns, even though I am trying hard to change. I don’t understand! Maybe it is just the way I am.”

Perhaps you have heard these statements or said them yourself. Many of us feel stuck, but years of attending church, reading the Bible, and being part of a small group have left us frustrated that transformation isn’t coming as quickly, or as completely, as we had hoped. We’ve tried so many things, listened to so many who said, “This is the way!” Only to fall back into the same unhealthy patterns over and over again.

Why aren’t we experiencing more growth? Is God not listening? Is this the way we are, and we will have to live like this for the rest of our lives?

Before you give up, consider another option: Immaturity!

Today I am writing about letting God heal your heart, how we can cooperate with God in the healing process. I want to start by telling you a little bit about myself. I did not grow up in a Christian home, but at the age of ten a friend invited me to go to Sunday school with her—they were having a contest March to Sunday School in March. My friend Vicky got points, and my life—and the life of my family—was changed forever. Out of that simple invitation, over the next two years everyone in my family surrendered their lives to Jesus—all that is except my father. He viewed our en mass conversion and went off to become a Christian Scientist. That is a story for another day . . .

Last month I wrote about eradicating self-hatred, that pernicious problem that besets most everyone at some level, making it difficult for us to embrace our true identity. In that post I talked about the idea that only God knows who we truly are, because he is the one who made us and he alone knows who he made us to be. This month, I want to talk about the idea that we are made in the image of God, or imago dei in Latin . . .

It may not seem like it matters much but knowing who you are is absolutely crucial to living the abundant life God has for you. Who gets to decide? You? Other people? I would argue that God is the only one who knows who you are. Amazing, isn’t it? He knows who you are because he created you. You are his favorite, his beloved, his chosen, the son or daughter of the king of kings. Here’s more: Jesus has liberated you from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2, TPT). God has chosen you to be his very own, joined you to himself even before he laid the foundation of the universe! Because of his great love, he has ordained you, so that you would be seen as holy in his eyes with an unstained innocence (Ephesians 1:4, TPT). Let the words soak in.

Dan Van Ness has been an international leader in restorative justice for more than 37 years. Although I’ve known Dan for many years and knew that he had played an important part in Rwanda’s recovery after the 1994 genocide, I did not understand what restorative justice was or how it might help us in our nation’s current struggles with racial injustice. But I wanted to learn more. Dan sent me his book, Restoring Justice: An Introduction to Restorative Justice, now in its fifth edition, which is used as a textbook all over the world. Then we spoke in July. Here is what I learned.