I Want to be a Community Elder

This month, Betsy graciously invited HCI Communications Coordinator, Christina Wood, to share with you her desire to reach elder maturity.

At the beginning of each new year, our Healing Center International community habitually looks to see where God has been at work over the past year and asks him what he desires for us and where he is inviting us to join him in the coming year. Not only as a community habit, but also as a personal habit, I began seeking God and interacting with him on his dreams and desires for me for this coming year. Unexpectedly to me—not to him—I found I had a desire to become a community elder, a community guide. Perhaps you will recall the five stages of human maturity we covered in several of our 2021 newsletters and through a series of questions and answer sessions? We looked at infant, child, adult, parent, and elder maturity. You can find those articles and sessions in previous blog posts, under Human Developmental Maturity, and on YouTube HERE.

Now, I wish being at the elder level of human maturity had just three requirements: 1) all your children are adult-aged, 2) you are at least 45 years of age, 3) you are willing to do stuff for other people. Realizing that doesn’t address the spiritual, I would be fine throwing in 4) you are growing in your relationship with God. Check, check, check, and check. Yes. You’ve made it. Congratulations. You are an elder.

But, not so fast. My list of four is not a good interpretation of the indicators of being an elder. In fact, by actual indicators, I am not yet an elder and probably won’t be for a while. Elder maturity encompasses regularly extending hospitality to others, being self-sacrificial and parenting those in my community without complaint, handling criticism and rejection with grace, and seeing each one I know through the eyes of heaven, among other things. Those would be, um, no, no, no, and no. What I am, however, is an elder wannabe.

I wannabe because God is calling me to this and because the communities to which I belong need elders. This includes: HCI, my church, my neighborhood, my friend groups, and my family. Not that there aren’t any elders, but to be honest, reaching elder maturity level takes work—intentional, hard work—and time. That means there are some elders, but, unfortunately, not very many.

Before we move on, stop, and imagine if there were a lot of mature elders in our communities. Families? In our world? Especially Christians at elder maturity? Followers of God who reach out to those without families? Who know how to act like themselves in the midst of challenge or difficulty, modeling transparency and vulnerability? Who choose to build and maintain a community identity, rather than insist on personal fairness or preference?

I want to find out. Don’t you?

Remembering that this was not a desire I picked out of a hat for myself, and knowing God welled this up in me, I did what you most likely do too—talk to God about it. After all, we know that what he provokes as a desire in us is also what he will do in us as we walk with him daily.

So, here is what God spoke to me:

Feed the desire I gave you. Dream about it, talk to me about it, learn about it, hear other people’s stories about it.

Work through your earlier maturity deficits. Pick one and co-operate with me about it. How? Listen and Practice. Listen to me in Immanuel Prayer and in my Word. Listen to the stories of those who have recovered from their own deficits, especially the community elders you do know. Practice the skills. Are your relational circuits on? Are you choosing to see others through Heaven’s eyes rather than being critical and judging them? Especially those I have called you to serve, like your family. Ouch. I don’t like having to write that part, Lord. But he reminds me that even “soft” critique—you know, for their own good, or out of my own overwhelm— is still judgment.

Discover and embrace your true self. The self that I know and created you to be in relationship with yourself, others, and me. Your true self is beautiful and courageous, and creative, and full of joy—not fear. Your fear is hiding the self I made you to be.

Cling to the words of guidance and encouragement I give you for this year. It’s my yearly habit to ask God for a verse for the year. “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Sprit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3)

Lastly, be patient. God gave me this word in community, as we listened to God on behalf of others. Take it slow. I will lead you; he reminds me, this is a long-term goal. Overcoming fear isn’t easy. Recovering from deficits isn’t going to happen overnight, although, I’m not opposed to a miracle! I know you are easily overwhelmed, so we will take it one step at a time TOGETHER.

And that’s the good news I want to leave you with as you consider your new year. No matter what God calls you to this new year—maybe becoming a community elder too?—you can walk into it TOGETHER. He is always, always, always, willing and desiring to be with and do good for his children.